It doesn't take a genius to tell you that internet trolling is the future. Whether you're rich or poor, trolling the internet is a great way to make a few extra bucks on the side. For those looking to start a career with minimal effort and maximum fun, look no further - professional trolling is for you. Luckily, for the unenlightened masses, I have included step-by-step instructions on how to make a living being a troll.
1. Get Computer
There's no avoiding this one. You can't be an internet troll without a computer. So before you do anything, get off your ass and head on down to the computer store and buy yourself one of those fine pieces of technology. Their costs vary based on internal components, but you should be fine with the cheapest available option, so long as it can run Windows 97 - the top tier in modern operating systems. Fire that baby up and give it about thirty minutes or so to get warmed up, and in the meantime make yourself a stiff drink - this could get ugly.
2. Register For Internet Account
Inside your computer box, there should be an application for your internet account. If it's not there, contact the internet support hotline at 1-800-INT-RNET. The call center is located in a small village in India, and full support is available in multiple languages. Fill out the necessary information, which includes your address, date of birth, and Social Security number or equivalent. Fold the paper hot dog style and slide it gently into an envelope, careful not to crease the edges. Send it to the internet headquarters, and within 2-3 weeks you should be internet ready.
3. Reap Benefits
If you've made it this far, you're doing great. You might be thinking, where's the money in this? Well, you see, you need to read between the lines. The point is far too complicated to be explained by words, you must use your inner brain to deeply process it. Press the refresh button on your internet browser, and if that doesn't work, try pressing Control + Alt + Delete simultaneously on your keyboard device. By now you should know the secrets to making money trolling.
Keep in mind, the internet is a scary place. We recommend you wear full UV protection while using these devices. They have been known to cause blindness and loss of memory or consciousness. You have been warned. Stay caffeinated!
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